Monday, March 1, 2010

A Walk with Mr. Barbera, Milano

Mr. Barbera (some men just seem to command the title Mr., anyway) is one of the most elegant gentlemen I know. Of course he always looks great but it’s his manners and his manner that really set him apart.

Manners and grace are soooo important to great style. Would Cary Grant be Cary Grant without his grace? I’m telling you guys, women really notice that stuff.

Anyone know of a good book on manners for gentleman and young men? One that’s actually modern and reflective of today’s society. I’m not kidding but I saw one for young girls done by American Girl and I thought it was great. I’m buying it for my girls for their birthdays (I already know the response it will get but, I’m doing it anyway…they’ll thank me later).

While we were walking together Mr. Barbera kept stopping to emphasize a point he was making in the conversation. Usually this was done with very emphatic but graceful hand gestures (like any good Italian). Though I was listening closely to what he was saying, I was also looking closely at his gloves!

Garance has been on me about not buying so many new clothes and instead wearing the clothes I have if I want them to age gracefully. While I was shooting Mr. Barbera I was wearing a pair of slightly darker brown pecari leather gloves and I kept thinking to myself….”My gloves are going to look just like that in about two years.” Of course, about an hour later, I lost them in a taxi on the way to the Gucci show!

Take note gentlemen, this is not that hard to do but very rewarding.


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  1. JDB

    January 31, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    wow! What a gentleman!

  2. Haley

    February 1, 2010 at 8:38 am

    Fabulous! Absolutely fabulous. Couldn't agree more –grace and class are key.


  3. La chica

    February 1, 2010 at 8:46 am

    He looks like Sean Connery, so elegant and classy.

  4. Life Abroad

    February 1, 2010 at 8:48 am

    Such a classic look. The mix of camels and grey is wonderful to see.

  5. beths

    February 1, 2010 at 8:54 am

    There are newer books, but my favorite is Maurice Sendak's _What Do You Say, Dear?_ His illustrations and words gently work together, just as kid words and actions do.

    Hurray for gentlemen; my gentleman son is 18 today.

  6. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 8:57 am

    Thank you, Scott, bringing attention to this much ignored subject: It is not enough to look beautiful, one's manners must reflect a deeper attempt at beauty.

    I don't know of a modern book (the market cries out of one) but this little, inexpensive book is worth a look:

    "Rules of Civility: The 110 Precepts that guided our First President in War and Peace" by Richard Brookhiser. I found it illuminating: My own manners, I decided, needed some attention.
    So I got one for myself and well as my son.

    For example: "Give not advice without being asked, and when desired do it briefly." :—)

  7. crabapplenyc

    February 1, 2010 at 9:05 am

    The cast of Jersey Shore should take note – THIS is what real Italians look like.

  8. Whit Mack

    February 1, 2010 at 9:07 am

    It is so true! Manners and grace are so important.

    My favorite part of this shot is his amber shoes with the side buckle. It reflects the amber in his hat.

  9. Sinatra's Shadow

    February 1, 2010 at 9:12 am

  10. Sabine

    February 1, 2010 at 9:14 am

    The perfect gentleman; and yes, leather gloves do age so nicely (if you keep them, that is). Though I don't know about any direct advise books I always find Jane Austen's books often address the question what (and what not) makes a gentleman.

  11. Sacheverell Pei

    February 1, 2010 at 9:21 am

    He's truly epic!

  12. kelly

    February 1, 2010 at 9:24 am

    He looks like such a friendly person too! He's so well dressed, and I definitely agree that manners and grace are important with style. I've always loved the 'Old Hollywood' actors because they're always so graceful. I think Cary Grants grace was one of the key components to his persona.

  13. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 9:26 am

    Great shot, mr Sartorialist. But above all a great piece of philosophy about the way we dress and address the others. That's why I always have a look at your blog: stylish and clever.

  14. Famous J

    February 1, 2010 at 9:26 am

    Brooks Brothers has several books on etiquette. I haven't done more than a quick browse at checkout, but they look well done:

  15. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Great style for a man his age. I am luckily 30 years away from his age, so I go for the more contemporary, yet classic look.

  16. Alan

    February 1, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Makes me wish I didn't feel silly with a hat on. Maybe when I'm older. I don't know about a book but there's a fantastic blog that you might find helpful called The Art of Manliness at – it covers everything from manners to what a man carries in his pockets.

  17. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 9:46 am

    No joke: Tiffany's table manners for teens is well worth a look. Pragmatic and pretty.

  18. madeline

    February 1, 2010 at 9:52 am

    so much respect is attributed to dressing and behaving well, i believe. thank you for posting this! he reminds me of my grandpa, who always wore a suit and tie :)

  19. Merlin

    February 1, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Best book for manners? Debrett's a – z of modern manners and Debrett's guide for the modern gentleman. More up to date than you might expect from Debretts…
    and of course, nice attire Mr Barbera

  20. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 9:54 am

    I do not wish to be dismissive of good manners, but I've noticed that the pervasive cult of "youth culture" loudly drowns out the adults who try very hard both to teach and exemplify them. Sart, it is a good thing you do here when you highlight the "grown-ups" in your blog.

    Class has always been cool, and it has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with making others comfortable around you by caring about how you present yourself to the world.

  21. mjrn

    February 1, 2010 at 9:54 am

    so true about manners and grace!!

    Mr. Sartorialist, try looking at the blog it has a retro modern feel to it, but i assure you the contents are fresh and have a very very contemporary mood to them.

    also see the book "The Dangerous Book for Boys". the book itself is meant for children, but the part about "how to talk to girls" is just golden!!

    Good day!:)

  22. vir beātum

    February 1, 2010 at 9:57 am

    This gent looks terrific.

    A source for manners for the modern man? You could do worse than visit

  23. L.Holm

    February 1, 2010 at 9:59 am

    Love this gentleman. Warm, engaging, so dapper.

  24. dominicandandy

    February 1, 2010 at 10:00 am

    He reminds me of my father and grandfather. My wife recently told me the same thing that Garance told you. I look in my armoire and see many beautiful classic suits. Yet I always feel that I need one more this or one more that. Nonsense! All I really need, Scott, is one more pair of shoes. I promise. Just one more pair and I'm set for life.

  25. Pamlwell

    February 1, 2010 at 10:00 am

    Lovely stuff. You are dead right about the manners. One quick way to ruin a fashionable first impression is to make an idiot of yourself as soon as you open your mouth.

    One collection of tips for boys that I have been very fond of lately is Rules for My Unborn Son:
    There is a book out now too, I believe. It's more about masculinity in general than specifically about manners, but as we've discussed, good manners are vital to being a real gentleman.

  26. Julia

    February 1, 2010 at 10:03 am

    Love his shoes!!

  27. MN SL&E

    February 1, 2010 at 10:03 am

    I don't think any book could help in teaching, ingraining and applying manners. Ettiquette maybe, but not manners. That depends on personal choice. It starts from a young age and there should be no modern twist to it. The same way my 60yr old father treated his elderlies, the same way I am expected to, the same way my children I am going to teach my children to as well. No book can teach how to carry oneself except the teaching that a parent can teach their child. This goes directly to family values as well, they've got tobe taught from a young age. And this doesn't mean that single parent households are not families. Values can be taught there as well. A book can only help one to be erudite but personal teaching helps one to apply.

    My father once told me that as a man I should never reach my hand out to shake a woman's hand. I should rather wait for her to reach out and then oblige her.

  28. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 10:04 am

    "Anyone know of a good book on manners for gentleman and young men?"


    Arguably a Gentleman doesn't need such a book.

  29. The Khaki Crusader

    February 1, 2010 at 10:05 am

    great point about properly wearing-in your clothing. there is nothing better than a piece that is truly experienced… you can see and feel the difference.

  30. Daniel

    February 1, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Very handsome man! I get the feeling that he is from another time: people don't dress that good anymore!
    Let's grow up later

  31. Michele

    February 1, 2010 at 10:07 am

    It is always to wonderful to see mature elegance and refinement. It is sad to note that Mr. Barbera is a dying breed. It is possible to find class and refinement throughout Europe however it is largely with the older generation, and not in the young. Jeans, down jackets, ski/ baseball caps, sneakers or Uggs seem to be the uniform not matter where you go. Behaviors that scream the universe revolves around me – was he talking on his cellphone while you were with him, or texting? Such a pity.
    Manners and civility, go to Dr. P.M.Forni who is a leading expert and so charming too.

  32. anonymous girl

    February 1, 2010 at 10:09 am

    You take amazing photos!

  33. The Sunlight District

    February 1, 2010 at 10:10 am

    I want this man for a grandfather. I've never had one, I want one, and this guy fits the bill. He looks like he'll actually have FUN going shopping with me AND give me great advice.

  34. Mélaestla

    February 1, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Scott, i think good style comes with grace, which comes with être bien dans sa peau as we say in french… Don't you think?

  35. JOE

    February 1, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Sart – Good stuff. Very hard to see chapper dapper guys like this stateside. What I loved about growing up in Europe and going back each year. The older folk still take trememdous pride in what they wear, and how they look like.

    Concur with your view on manners! A breath of fresh air when you meet someone who genuinely has them. Hard to find nowadays.


  36. CK Dexter Haven

    February 1, 2010 at 10:24 am

    There are books from Brooks Brothers, although i cannot recall if the text within is worthwhile:

    They have similar books for Ladies, as well.

  37. Adrienne

    February 1, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Oh, I love him! One of those father figure types. His shoes are so shiny and clean!


    February 1, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Perhaps a little too specific, but I think Tiffany's Table Manners for Teenagers is invaluable. Table manners are a big part of what separates the wheat from the chaff. I received a copy as a teenager, and though I was initially embarrassed, it's much better than being embarrassed at a fine dinner party. I still reference it today.

  39. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 10:29 am

    Mr. Barbeera….simply perfect!

    [email protected]

  40. kimmy scotti

    February 1, 2010 at 10:30 am

    You are so right about manners! There is a great book out by a blogger–its called "Rules for my Unborn Son"–I think it may be exactly what you are looking for!

    Also, for the girls, the Kate Spade book "Manners" is a personal favorite, a book called "a Guide to Elegance" I got in my Christmas stocking which is perfect for modern women who kick it old school, and Cynthia Rowley's "Swell" are all fabulous options.

  41. jessicarae

    February 1, 2010 at 10:34 am

    His glasses are brilliant. What a lovely color.

  42. NW

    February 1, 2010 at 10:37 am

    This is what I had as a kid:
    Stand Up, shake hands, say how do you do


  43. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 10:38 am

    very well-put advice.. thank you.

  44. Dawne

    February 1, 2010 at 10:38 am

    Yes, manners and grace contribute to great style. Thank-you for the reminder!

  45. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 10:39 am

    When I was a kid my mom gave me: Stand Up, Shake Hands, Say How Do You Do

  46. Eric

    February 1, 2010 at 10:48 am

    A book that I own and love is How To Be A Gentleman by John Bridges. I believe that it is part of a series of books sold at Brooks Brothers.

  47. clint

    February 1, 2010 at 10:51 am

    "Rules for My Unborn Son" by Walker Lamond

  48. SMII

    February 1, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Thanks Sartorialist. Mr Barbera exudes style and class.

  49. Jessica

    February 1, 2010 at 10:54 am

    A great book on manners for me: RULES FOR THE MODERN MAN by Dylan Jones, published by Pegasus Books in 2007. It's available on amazon!

    I got it for my boyfriend–its witty and smart, and talks about everything, from getting a bespoke suit to how to hire (or fire) someone was class.

  50. Dania Padron

    February 1, 2010 at 10:58 am

    Yes, Mr. Barbera is an elegant man just by his appearance, but I'm sure, as you pointed out, its his manner and his manners that make him a class act. I can't tell you how many well-dressed guys I know are complete turn-offs once they open their mouths. Let me not forget the fact that most of them have absolutely no manners to speak of. Clothes are a good down payment on achieving style, but personality and manners are the things you need to pay of the mortage.

    Lovely work, Scott, or should I say, Mr. Schuman.

  51. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 11:09 am

    I'm particularly fond of the whole light-tan single strap monk chucka against darker pants look — very Italian, terrifically stylish, and he carries it beautifully. Those shoes are definitely on my to-buy list…

  52. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 11:12 am

    the glasses.

  53. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 11:16 am

    Try "Character" by Samuel Smiles. Available free online at:

  54. Sara Bentley

    February 1, 2010 at 11:16 am

    I completely agree — grace, manners and elegance have been all but lost today. Such a shame. It makes the few that still posses those qualities stand out. And you're right — this gentleman does command the title. Great photos!

  55. Ammu

    February 1, 2010 at 11:17 am

    Such an elegant man, and such a lovely post – I do like it when your images are accompanied by text – gives one that little bit more to chew on.

  56. Diana

    February 1, 2010 at 11:20 am

    I am afraid, that this level of style and grace will slowly disappear of this world…
    Or do you think that your, our and the younger generation will be able to breath this in, learn this?
    Somehow I am a pessimist about this. But I still hope!
    And please, always put your gloves in your pocket when you don´t need them! ;-)))

  57. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 11:21 am

    He is soooo together! What style!!

  58. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 11:21 am

    Manners and Grace are SO Important and so many people do not have them which is reflecting in their appearance and communication skills. Emily Post is my favorite book on etiquette, but a modern version would be very appropriate right now. Just looking at last nights grammys, we are in dire need of manners. Just read the "the SECRET AGENT" ARTICLE from the FT Weekend about the NY Corporate Lawyer. I work with these people and their manner are
    atrocious considering all the money spent on their education, one should expect more.

  59. BuckleButtonZip

    February 1, 2010 at 11:21 am

    He is impeccably dressed and your storytelling of his grace and manners is what I'll remember.

  60. The Photodiarist

    February 1, 2010 at 11:24 am

    You hit the nail on the head. A lovely demeanor and manners take a person a long way. Way further than the latest that Prada, Gucci and Fendi have to offer.

    I agree with Garance's point about wearing what one has. When we make an effort to buy well made clothes with classic cuts and so on and so forth, we should make those clothes work a bit. That's what the great cut/material is supposed to do for us.

  61. lucinha

    February 1, 2010 at 11:26 am

    no words need!

  62. MsSvelteNY

    February 1, 2010 at 11:28 am

    I'm sending this to all the men in my cipher. Well done.

  63. davidsl

    February 1, 2010 at 11:29 am

    perfect outfit and i love his glasses!

  64. Ms. Bunbury

    February 1, 2010 at 11:34 am

    I remember Mr. Barbera from your book. He0s great and I simply love his camels (I do love camels myself). You couldn't be more right talking about style. Cary Grant (my ideal man) couldn't be the same without his grace. And you're right. We, women, really notice that. ;-)By Ms. Bunbury

  65. Ljubica

    February 1, 2010 at 11:36 am

    love these shots
    and i loved reading your post as well. you can see this man is a gentleman, it really translates well in these photos. not only does he have amazing timeless style, but he has manners and grace.. that's one combination we definitely don't find every day..

  66. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 11:45 am

    This would be a great time for our purveyor of elegant Style Ralph Lauren to have a MEN's show this NY Fashion week to remind people (MEN) how to dress. There is a resurgence happening (albeit a slow one). Look at the interest in Savile Row (lead by Norton and Son's Patrick Grant), the increase interest in Pitti Uomo coverage. In fact SART, why are there more pics from Pitti? Lead the charge.

  67. AnonymousJK

    February 1, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Even a blind man could see this man is exuding sophistication…

  68. notjustmedical

    February 1, 2010 at 11:48 am

    He has great gloves. Wish all men were this well-dressed!


  69. Jacqueline

    February 1, 2010 at 11:51 am

    He is the perfect example of a gentleman =) xo

  70. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    For real class, read the classic: Emily Post's Etiquette. Everything else is just roleplay.

  71. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Seems like an incredibly interesting person. I love the color palette and his shoes!

  72. Woof-Woof

    February 1, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    Indeed, the man carries himself and what he is wearing magnificently. There is lovely patina on those gloves and you have described him what makes him special beautifully.

    Thank you for this post. Your commentary is always valued and while a picture is said to be worth a thousand words, I would gladly swap a few pictures for even 50 words more regularly.

  73. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    good manners are like good clothes, they give back to the owner. These things require us to think of others before ourselves, to take care in what we are. Others smile and we feel it. This is very healthy.

    Selfishness, and rudeness ruin the beautiful.

  74. Fabio LE CALZATURE

    February 1, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    Classe con l'eleganza italiana, e una gioia vedere una persona cosi!

  75. Beha

    February 1, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Manners and grace sure is important, and Mr Barbera does look amazing. About the book, the guy Walker Lamond has written the book, Rules For My Unborn Son, and its absolutely great.

  76. Vincent

    February 1, 2010 at 12:26 pm


  77. hibou

    February 1, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    So beautiful! I love that you addressed manners and grace, both sorely lacking in younger generations. It is touching to see how intentional you are when you focus on your subject. You are truly a wonderful artist! I'm looking forward to reading all these comments and seeing what resources were suggested.

  78. Klever Girl

    February 1, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Amazing find. Rare, and amazing.

  79. Caroline

    February 1, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Amen! I believe this is the most practical post I've read on this website — and it is true, ladies do notice these things.

  80. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Mr Sart. You want to look at "Mr Jones' Rules for the Modern Man" by Dylan Jones, editor of British GQ.
    It's excellent and covers manners, dressing and many other need to's.
    You must know Dylan?
    Great book anyhow, well worth your while.

  81. Devlin Keating

    February 1, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Mr. Sartorialist,

    Try "The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy, and Vice" by Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro. What sets it apart from some of the other recommendations listed here is the authors' playful and modern tone, as well as humorous sidenotes and useful advice. Enjoy!

  82. maggie_hogan

    February 1, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Back when Queer Eye was big, the Fab 5 published a book based on all the lessons in the show. I ended up buying it for my little brother and my boyfriend for Christmas that year and they both loved it. It is a fun, modern take on behaving in a chic and masculine way.

  83. Louis

    February 1, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    l'eleganza di ieri e lo charme di oggi!!!

  84. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Please note everyone: neither his nor the preceding photo's two young men's trousers are up above their ankles. You can put that in a book on immutable customs, too.

  85. Giancarlo

    February 1, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    I'm only 24 but I've started collecting the Brooks Brothers books for my future children already.

    Of course, Baldassare Castiglione's The Book of the Courtier, even if written in the late Renaissance, should be a mandatory read for all aspiring gentlemen.

  86. Emily Rose

    February 1, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Thank you for stressing the importance of manners and having grace and poise in general (for both men and women). It conveys such a sense of respect for self and others. I'm about to graduate college and am surrounded by many young people who lack these skills!

    Emily D.

  87. Brummagem Joe

    February 1, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    Luciano is one of your stars Sart. along with Marzotto, Hackett, the Luca's and one or two others. The combo of the darkish brown tweed, mid grey flannels and highly polished monks take some beating. And the great thing is anyone can wear them to advantage. The polo coat looks good on him but doesn't work on everyone so any imitators need to bear this in mind. As to the other it has long been a truism that "Manners Makyth Man."

  88. Bell

    February 1, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    ¡This is a man!
    truely Gentleman.

  89. Elizabeth

    February 1, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    Love his glasses!

  90. Alina

    February 1, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    well dressed man!
    love it;)

  91. Makeup Theory

    February 1, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    He looks really pulled together.

  92. Sara

    February 1, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Im Simply fascinated with this one, I agree, there is something more than "wearing" a perfect look, you have to be and live the perfect look, does not exist a perfect look with out this touch of class and that is only reachable being educated and having manners.
    People under 30, should really buy a book of manners at the same time as they absorb the vogue of every month.

  93. Global Girl

    February 1, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    There is no age limit on style..just wow!

  94. hi-d

    February 1, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    He does look like a gentleman…inside and out. I love his style.

  95. Michael Burlin

    February 1, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    I've found this one to be decent, although not as in depth as others:

  96. anthony

    February 1, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    His posture is excellent. He could wear anything. His shoes are beautiful.

  97. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    That slim volume "What a man should know" published by J. Crew was an excellent if slightly tongue in cheek guide to how a man should comport himself. For some reason Crew seems to have stopped selling it, even though it seemed like a perfect little gift-ette for an intelligent feller.

  98. Amalia

    February 1, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    I agree with Garance! Anyone can wear new clothes – new clothes wear you. But clothes that are worn-in and have worn well shows that you love them, they belong only to you, they may look, smell and feel strange on anyone else. They have become part of you, like an old arm-chair that no one else is allowed to sit on.

  99. indigo warrior

    February 1, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    It's so rare to be able to say that a man is impeccable. It's absolutely wonderful when you can, though.

  100. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    My favourite post so far!

  101. coquetteblog

    February 1, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    He is so elegant!Amazing

  102. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    It simply does not get better. Nothing really deserves a special comment because every piece is perfect but, nevertheless, I have to say, those glasses are savage.

  103. Sniurk

    February 1, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    tres classieux le Mr

  104. what dia like

    February 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    bcp de classe, d'élégance!

  105. Kalee

    February 1, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    I love this look! Older men who are stylish and gentlemen make my heart flutter! I'm lucky to be married to a guy who is slowly figuring out his fashion style, and his manners are fantastic. I figure 50 years from now I'll still be crazy about him for these reasons alone!

  106. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Brooks Brothers has great books on manners.

  107. margaret at bonbonliving

    February 1, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    I agree that personal style is just as much about grace and confidence as individual pieces. Awesome perspective, funny post. Thanks.

  108. Susan at Charm of the Carolines

    February 1, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Wish you could bottle "grace" and sell it in a bottle. Some possess it, and some never will.

    Thanks for sharing!


  109. jane

    February 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    lovely pictures–he seems to exude such confidence and sincerity!

  110. judy

    February 1, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    My Dad had gloves like that! (he's 92 now and doesn't get out much any more).

    As for manners, I saw a handwritten sign 20 plus years ago on the kitchen wall of the Nantucket Ferry. In full view of the customer, it read: "PLEASE and THANK YOU: The forgotten words of the 20th century", if I am recalling correctly.

    Manners help establish habits of remembering to pay attention to the world around us, including the one serving us food. Not only to be grateful for the service provided, but also willing to take notice of others as fellow human beings. That is worth teaching our children.

    Thank you, Scott, for your photos and for your words too.

  111. Berta

    February 1, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    Just perfect!

  112. Carina

    February 1, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Brooks Brothers have the book that you want.

  113. BobKentNoVa

    February 1, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    I hope to age this gracefully.

    Count me as another thumbs-up on Mr. Barbera's shoes. That caramel-color leather is fantastic.

  114. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Rules for my Unborn Son by Walker Lamond

  115. Fashionista

    February 1, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    "How to be a Gentleman, A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy" by John Bridges is a quick little reference book that every man should read. I am a mother of two little boys and am determined to raise them to be a pleasure for everyone who meets their acquaintance.

  116. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Great photos of Mr. Barbera dressed "properly" in the classic way. You are a master at capturing classic with a twist.

    So sorry to hear about your lost gloves. Hope you find worthy replacements [I am still sad about my Florentine hat -- forgotten on an Italian train 50 years ago during a family facation.]

  117. Eryl Shields

    February 1, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Adults have been complaining about the attitude, behaviour, etc., of youth since time immemorial (see Pompeii for graffiti). Children learn how to behave by observing and mimicking adults. Grace, elegance, good manners: if the kids don't have it it's because we don't.

    However, I don't think that is so, it's probably that kids reinterpret and then do it their way. Adults don't understand and think it's rude. I find my son's friends nothing but charming.

  118. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    Yeah, that's true. Manners and étiquette are getting more popular again.
    In Austria we have many balls, corresponding there are a lot of books about étiquette – like "Früh übt sich und es ist nie zu spät", but they are in German only, I think.

  119. Em

    February 1, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Top to toe – pure Style!

    And thank you for pointing out how important manners are. I can't stress this enough to my daughter. Not always appreciated but like you say, one day she'll get it.

  120. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    No bs….facially, physically and in the way I dress I'm this guy's twin….it's uncanny the resemblance….I showed my better half the pic and she was stunned!

  121. hmallon

    February 1, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Grace: Looking like a man who never loses his gloves…no matter how many times you've actually done it.

  122. Alicja

    February 1, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    The grace of Mr. Barbera is evident- simple expression says everything. The best is third photo, the way Mr. Barbera holds his coat and hat is just perfect :)

  123. -h

    February 1, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    He is so elegant. Shame about your gloves. The only books I can think of are the ones that they sell at Brooks Brothers.

  124. tintin

    February 1, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    You don't need a book of Etiquette. Just remember the Golden Rule…Do unto others. I wish I could remember it.

  125. lustforlove

    February 1, 2010 at 5:57 pm


  126. Krazysonn

    February 1, 2010 at 6:06 pm


  127. The Urban Naturalist

    February 1, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    Amazing and beautifully worn gloves. I also wish I still have a few gloves from years past. Here's to aging clothes with grace!

  128. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    What a beautiful man! I like his looks/his clothes-ALL of him!— if I didnt know him Id definately want to meet him! Im a man and just so you know: MEN notices these things too! :-) Jack

  129. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    haha i had the american girl manners book… i loved that! then i graduated on to tiffany's book of table manners for teenagers. whenever i'd accompany my mom to fancy business dinners, i was proud to know which fork to use haha!

  130. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Wonderful Australian book, How to be a man, by John Birmingham.

    Good fun and good advice.

  131. Monsieur Le Nickel

    February 1, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    Perhaps someone already mentioned it, but my mother gave me the three-book series on etiquette titled, "A Gentleman Gets Dressed," "As a Gentleman Would Say," and "How to be a Gentleman." I believe one could purchase the trio on Amazon.

    Of all the books she's given me, these have proven the most useful (save, of course, for the journal she gives me each Christmas.)

    Et pour vous qui lisez le français, je vous conseille les petits bouquins de la série "Que sais-je" concernant l'etiquette et la politesse.

  132. Beck

    February 1, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    I have two pairs of gloves just like that that belonged to my grandmother, they were her 'country' gloves so I am interested to see them here on such a urbane man. I wear them every winter and have only to resew the seams every few years. They are probably about 70 years old and have darkened in just the same way.

  133. Betty Darling

    February 1, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    he's so wonderfully dapper!


  134. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Manners are making other people feel comfortable and welcome. Beyond the triteness of that sentence is that everyone, men and women, encourage others to act from their best natures. Be compassionate; be principled; be brave; don't hit a man when's down; be generous. Protect the weak, enforce justice. Don't whine; don't boast. Do it all with grace.

  135. BendigoBoy

    February 1, 2010 at 9:13 pm


    "Why Manners Matter" by Lucinda Holdforth is a wonderful essay on why manners are still a mark of civilised behaviour, and necessary for the proer unctioning of society:

  136. Elizabeth

    February 1, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Love his scarf!

  137. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    Another vote for "The Art of Manliness" site. I also believe in the importance of manners but I also hope it reflects an interior virtue (hope that didn't sound too pretentious!). But at least it can be a doorway to good behavior and character. I love the pictures, especially the last one. You've see this sort of comment on your blog before but yes, in my perfect world more (most? all?) men would dress this way. After your remark about manners I think the most importance sentence in your post is the last one. Like manners, this way of dressing is within reach of almost every man (even if with clothing that's less expensive). It's a shame that more men don't realize this.

  138. Ricky Gomez

    February 1, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    Fonzworth Bentley's "Advance Your Swagger," is a great book on etiquette for men and young men

  139. saha jones

    February 1, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    to have grace, is to give grace. to be mannered, is not to be affected, but rather, aware of yourself in time and space. To be present, in the world. The past, the future, is NOW, whatever your age or background or gender, there are no excuses for any educated citizen to be without it…. im glad to see this man with NOW,THEN and WHEN carried with him in the structure of his very being, like the architecture of his brilliant outfit… and the fitted gloves…. viva.. the taxi will carry them on to another home, another NOW

  140. Anonymous

    February 1, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    Very impressed with this man's dress. Very dynamic style from coat-wearing stage to the jacket.

    Although this seems like an indirect response to the the Kanye post…

  141. rena

    February 1, 2010 at 11:56 pm

    I don't know if someone has already posted this one, and it's more of a novelty book but has a lot of straightforward points about being a gentleman.
    It's a book and a website.

  142. Matinee

    February 2, 2010 at 12:08 am

    love the leather hands. tells a story.

  143. CM

    February 2, 2010 at 1:15 am

    "Take note gentlemen, this is not that hard to do but very rewarding". I love you Scott!

  144. Le 21ème

    February 2, 2010 at 1:36 am

    Those gloves have seen some love!


  145. Lisa

    February 2, 2010 at 2:14 am

    My father is a perfect gentleman, kind and elegant. But people often tell him that he is too nice!! My father is a confident man and does not let comments like that get to him. But ii is strange that you often hear that people should be nicer to one another and yet we do not encourage the ones who are!!

  146. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 2:24 am

    Charm and good manners, both seem to go hand-in-hand. He looks like he would be a charming man as well.

  147. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 5:42 am

    Yeah, this man is totally a gentleman…his style is just wonderful. He is so smart, elegant. Bravo!
    My father has the same style. He buys Paul Smith, CP Compagny, and U-NI-TY…it's just so nice when men take care of themselves!

  148. 1

    February 2, 2010 at 5:43 am

    tears of joy in my eyes, I have exactly the same gloves… Thank you, it's made my day.
    Gloves will receive extra attention and appreciation from now on.

  149. GaudiG

    February 2, 2010 at 6:13 am

    the shoes,i <3 them…the colour is fantastic!!and i like thpse beige coats,you see them everywhere around the cities in europe right now…

  150. Mattheus Lian

    February 2, 2010 at 7:00 am


  151. "Une very stylish fille"

    February 2, 2010 at 7:11 am

    Really good post. Great text. I SO agree with everything you wrote. I feel a huge gap in today's society, we hardly have any knowledge about good manners that used to be highly important, today are just a pipe-dream. Such a shame.

    No comment about the photos themselves,as they are (as always) perfect perfect perfect.

    Kind regards,
    fashion abuse

  152. Fashionistable

    February 2, 2010 at 7:41 am

    Love the images, love the story. Sorry about your gloves.

  153. Kerri Rose

    February 2, 2010 at 8:00 am

    Manners and Etiquette are such important aspects… I wish more men knew this! Truly they come before looks & style.

  154. Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl

    February 2, 2010 at 9:10 am

    Oh women DO notice manners. In fact, to some this things is crucial in a man.

    I wish I could recommend a good book for gentlemen, but I only know of a good one for ladies – then again maybe it's exactly the one you know of – "How to Walk in High Heels: the Girl's Guide to Everything" by Camilla Morton

  155. Davidikus

    February 2, 2010 at 9:34 am

    Fabulous outfit! In particular, I love the brown shoes (of which I have far too many).

  156. Eve

    February 2, 2010 at 9:40 am

    He's amazing, so delicate and beautiful style, great using of various brown tones together.

  157. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 9:44 am

    Mr. Luciano Barbera reveals his own beliefs on style that can be found directly on his website at:

    Very interesting indeed.

  158. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 10:16 am

    Mr. Barbera wears almost the same coat as the girl above ;)

  159. Hatchet

    February 2, 2010 at 10:47 am

    I've long held the opinion that decorum would solve a lot of the problems we see in the world. I don't always accomplish it, but I try to be more decorous than indecorous.

  160. angelique

    February 2, 2010 at 10:57 am

    Manners are so important to teach the next generation. I have four boys and I try to teach them to live by the "Four C's" we think are important: Common Sense, Character, Courage and Compassion. What are manners if not simply compassion for others? And sometimes you need a lot of courage to be compassionate in a group of adolescent boys! Love sharing your blog with my boys. It adds a fifth "C" to the mix: Cool Chic!

  161. Charles

    February 2, 2010 at 11:18 am

    What a beautiful photograph (and of course a timeless inspiration of style).

  162. darlene

    February 2, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    I like Mr. Barbera's style–conservative but with a lot of individual touches, like the glasses, pocket square, and striped scarf. Very distinguished. I'm sure he's a head-turner even in fashion-savvy Milan.

  163. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    where can i get shoes like that?!

  164. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Reminds me of my grandfather; gone these 35 years now. And his smell! he used a solid shaving soap from France, with a badger brush to lather up. I loved watching him shave and the subtle scent; clean, fresh, slightly citrus. And his smooth cheek as he bent down to kiss me.

    Thanks for the memory; an unexpected virtue of a classic gentleman's look!

  165. Grettir

    February 2, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    As a single father raising two girls, I would say that almost all of the non-fiction titles from American Girl are worth a look.

    "A Smart Girl's Guide to Manners" is brilliant and their books on grooming were invaluable since my daughters were cursed with a father who (previously) couldn't braid hair, even if his and/or Rapunzel's life depended on it.

    It's a niche that isn't really catered to by any other publisher [cough]market opportunity[/cough] and American Girl does it with both style and substance.

  166. Emily

    February 2, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Mr. Barbera's look is fantastic! Not only does he look put-together, but he went the extra mile to make his entire look both refined and à la mode! I especially love his accessories: his gloves and shoes are such a perfect pair! The classic style of his hat and his modern glasses really emphasize his sense of style!
    Bravo, Mr. Barbera!

  167. Marionn

    February 2, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Perfect outfit, and you're really right when you say manners and grace are important to great style! And girls always notice! Thats for sure!

    And i actually have the same gloves, only in black. Wish I had bought them in brown when I look at the pictures ..

  168. 10.13.1983.30

    February 2, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    A Good Book is Rules For My Unborn Son by Walker Lamond…

  169. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    amazing. no words. that 3rd picture is your best ever. this man is absolutely breathtaking.

  170. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    There is an Australian journalist Sam de Brito who has written a very contemporary & small book called No tattoos before you're thirty. Published by Penguin. A very modern take on manners and respect. Absolutely fantastic and resonates in society today and tomorrow for us and our children.

  171. Anonymous

    February 2, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    don't know about his manners from a photo but i do know that he is fabulously vain. perhaps better said that he takes pride in his appearance. it's not just that his ensemble is composed of classic pieces, it's that the cuts of those things reveal the mark of a good tailor. i'll say about his look what his charm conceals, very well done!

  172. Katherine

    February 3, 2010 at 12:06 am

    Please keep spreading the good word about the value of gentlemanly-ness!

  173. Helena

    February 3, 2010 at 4:19 am

    I wish my Grandad dressed like this. He knows what he is doing and It works for him. The whole deal, glasses imparticular I love.

  174. Anonymous

    February 3, 2010 at 8:30 am

    I had the American Girl Manners book with I was a little girl and I can't tell you how many questions that book answered for me. My mom is a stickler for manners and etiquette but that book helped me out a lot!

    American Girl is a great company for little girls, very influential and very ethical.

  175. ludivine

    February 3, 2010 at 9:17 am

    Do you konw (I'm sure you do) what is called in french : la Société des ambianceurs et des personnes élégantes (SAPE) a society of dandymen with a really strict dress and attitude code ?

  176. George Williams Jr.

    February 3, 2010 at 9:19 am

    This article just proves that you just get better with age. He obviously made wise choices with this classic look. What I love most about this look, is how subtle and easy it is to do. There aren't any crazy patterns, or flashy colors. Very simple and elegant. :)

  177. sarah e.

    February 3, 2010 at 9:56 am

    don't know if it's been mentioned, but I like the book "Return to Civility" –

  178. A.M.Graham

    February 3, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Brooks Brothers has a series of nice books, such as "How to Raise a Gentleman", "How to Be a Gentlelman", "As a Gentleman Would Say", "A Gentleman at the Table", and "A Gentleman Abroad". There are others!

    I really enjoy reading your blog, and looking at all the stylish ladies and gentleman that grace it.

  179. Clifford Lau

    February 3, 2010 at 10:21 am

    This one is also good (brief but very easy reading). Taught me something very useful:

    How to Be a Gentleman: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners by John Bridges

    Very nice post mate thanks much.

  180. Anonymous

    February 3, 2010 at 11:43 am

    wow; what a superb looking 'look'. does he have class or what. love the deep caramel gloves, shoes, camel coat, glasses, etc. whats not to love??

  181. Anonymous

    February 3, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Such wise style choices– nothing flashy or showy–

    gloves, glasses-frames, coat buttons all match in first pic–
    but it's not too obvious–

    gray-blue of scarf and pants do the same–

    simple perfectly tailored clothes, "topped off" with beautiful shoes–

    one of your best picture sets yet!

  182. Anonymous

    February 3, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    I love that you're so involved in teaching your daughters manners. I was just thinking today how thankful I was I had my grandma and Emily Post around when I was little to show me the way. (and trust me, I was a little more than disappointed when I received "Modern Etiquette" for my birthday but I got over it)

  183. Rebecca

    February 4, 2010 at 4:39 am

    I love those gloves.

  184. MissB2U

    February 4, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Grace is synonomous within this post. Such elegance and regal!

  185. Anonymous

    February 4, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    I have those gloves. Roeckl.

  186. Henriette

    February 4, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    i like the gentlemans !

  187. Anonymous

    February 4, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    This gentleman ist well-dressed, no doubt. Okay. But why does he really look so 'yummy' ? It's all about the moustache !

  188. Niki

    February 4, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    I love his hat and his shoes. Some men just have that aura of grace, like you said. And yes, women notice.

  189. Anonymous

    February 4, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    this is a real gentleman…


  190. Bow Tie Guy

    February 4, 2010 at 11:36 pm

    I believe Mr. Barbera's style is enhanced by the subtle hint approachability and amiability. And those monk straps. For modern manner every Monday visit:

    A good place to start with manners books is:

    But the magnum opus will always be:

    Thank you for the inspiration.

  191. Public Mentor

    February 5, 2010 at 4:46 am

    The gloves and shoes are superb.

    His grace and attitude are very nice.

  192. Anonymous

    February 5, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    Another fellow geezer who takes it to another level. What sophistication and savior faire!! Just because you're old does not mean you have lost your style too, actually style matures and reaches new heights!!

  193. pdaervo

    February 5, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    That is what I've been saying all along.
    Grace and class are what style is all about. I love my mother, but she has to be the most graceless (and, consequently, style-less) being I've ever met. I've spent my life actively working to not emulate that part of her.
    I'm 19, but I am now in the market for a book on manners and etiquette as well. I think knowing that you have the skills to handle almost any situation adds confidence into the mix as well. Grace and confidence are learned qualities, and my personal goals.

  194. leighanne

    February 6, 2010 at 9:53 am

    absolutely dashing in such an understated way!

  195. Basil

    February 6, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Mr. Barbara is truly a gentleman.

    I must agree with "MN SL&E" Etiquette can be taught whereas manners are different. Good manners is rooted in a genuine love and ability to empathize with others. To have have a good manner is too empathize though the vehicle of etiquette.

    I am a proponent of the Bible, and more so when it is applied appropriately. When it says that Love is kind and never ends, Men and Women like Mr. Barbara leave footprints in the hearts of others that will never end.

  196. scott

    February 7, 2010 at 8:57 am

    The classic clothing & accessories connect in light, color & texture. The translucent glasses, buttons & iridescent hat band reflect a love of surfaces.

    A gentleman of energy, sensitivity and style. However, it is his fabulous, idiosyncratic fedora hat (Is it a Borsalino Hat?) tweaked into an inimitable form that says, "I am an original".

  197. kostas

    February 9, 2010 at 3:07 am

    Very elegant!

  198. Anonymous

    February 9, 2010 at 9:58 am

    The best little book on manners was published by Brooks Brothers it is "How to be a Gentleman" by John Bridges. Live by this book and you too will age with grace.


    February 9, 2010 at 10:56 pm


  200. Anonymous

    February 18, 2010 at 12:10 am

    A wonderful sequence of images here. It would be great to see more of these, if you could.

    A great title as well – they impart the images an indication of time passing.


  201. A.

    March 1, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Sad, but true about people these days lacking manners. Although, I feel like this is more of something that you acquire from your growing-up environment than something that can be simply picked up from the nearest Borders. Manners, along with mannerisms, sort of come along with the whole "nurture" sort of thing and it's difficult to correct that. In fact, some people can be so manners-lacking that they don't even realize their lack of manners.

    But Mr. Barbera looks absolutely gentlemanly.

  202. Baron-Münchhausen

    March 1, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    I lose my gloves once a fortnight.
    What should I do?

  203. Felipe-san

    March 1, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    About the book on manners for gentleman.

    I found the Debrett’s books most like recipe books, useful and practical but lacking in poetry – because I don’t believe grace can be learned by following recipes. However, I’m grateful to them because they guided me to “The Benevolence of Manners: recapturing the lost art of gracious victorian living” that, despite it’s appearance, is a reflective and pleasant lecture.

  204. Anonymous

    March 1, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    Oh yes manners are indeed important, and they should be reflected through one's clothes.

    (Hey, they say first impressions are everything. Why not use the outside to reflect the inside.)

  205. Anna

    March 1, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    I admire you Scott for suggesting that grace and good manners actually manner. You're right about there not being a manners book for men. There are less and less manner role models out there.
    The pictures are beautiful. Too bad about your gloves. But think of it as a gift for someone else who may let them age gracefully!

  206. Emma

    March 1, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    There is for sure something to say about older men who are always pressed and dressed. I love him with his hat, coat and scarf, there is something that just all ties it together. He is very stylish, yet he is still keeping warm. Also, I love how the fingure tips of his gloves are worn because you can tell that he is a hard worker, and peoples hands tell stories! Hope to see more hand shots.

  207. rachel

    March 1, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    I could swear I've seen & read this entire post before… Have I? Or have I read one similar you've posted about manner? Or have I suddenly discovered a psychic talent or had a serious case of deja vu? ahh!!

  208. ashford

    March 1, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    I am a 25 year old female and would love to read more about having good manners. Emily Post anyone?

    I also lose my gloves everywhere. I've resorted to the dollar black knit kind, that way they always match and I can lose them. a lot.

  209. Elizabeth Rose

    March 1, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    not that i dont love it or anything – it is simply marvelous – just ive seen it before

  210. Will Tomkinson

    March 1, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    I don't know about a book but is a pretty good review of real, meaningful manliness.

  211. Paula Grace Designs

    March 1, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    Oh know ~ sorry about your gloves! Yes, he is distinquished.
    Paula Grace ~

  212. rubyredshoes

    March 1, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    Good manners will get you far in life. A friend of mine always has impecable manners, she always smiles to people in the street and uses peoples names when she is talking to them, even the cashier at Mc Donalds making them feel special and important. She never leaves a bad impression.

  213. Suze S.

    March 1, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    Although possibly a case of deja vu, but I could have sworn I've already seen this post before on the Sartorialist. The picture of the gloves, the mention of Garance and clothes aging gracefully, losing the gloves in the taxi, even the part about books and manners. I must be crazy!

  214. Anonymous

    March 1, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    Sart- Didn't you post this already? Is this a re-post or did you move it up?

  215. George

    March 1, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    This was posted in february, why the repost?

  216. Anonymous

    March 1, 2010 at 11:22 pm

  217. Katy

    March 2, 2010 at 12:51 am

    I love this, but haven't these photos been on before?

  218. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 12:56 am

    Thank you for pointing out that, yes, women DO notice manners. A lot.
    I recently purchased "Debrett's Eitquette for girls".
    It's a book aimed not so much at girls, but young women. The parallel title for men is appropriately named "Debrett's Manners for Men (What Women Really Want)".
    These are fun books, with beautiful photographs. They would make a wonderful gift to the special young woman/man in your life.

  219. Jacqueline

    March 2, 2010 at 12:57 am

    He is a classic gentleman! I love the whole outfit. The coat is gorgeous. xo

  220. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 1:35 am

    this pic is a repeat with even the text same… but its a good reminder on the mannerism.

  221. tgoandco

    March 2, 2010 at 1:36 am

    Love what you wrote about Mr. Barbera. There is a lot of heart there and much respect. Sorry you lost your gloves… ok, economic stimulus – go buy a new "special" pair and with the idea of keeping them for longevity. Enjoy the day.

  222. The Sartorialist

    March 2, 2010 at 2:08 am

    yes, this was reposted while i was trying to fix a technical problem on the blog

  223. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 2:35 am

    An Australian writer has written a book essentially on manners – but uniquely for Australian audiences – 'Being a Better Bloke' by Sam de Brito

  224. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 2:50 am

    I second the What Do You Say/Do Dear? My parents got them my sister and me and we loved them. Really. Also, there's "How to Behave and Why."

    A quick Google search turned up this:

    The page lists "holding doors," but I think holding doors for someone behind us is something we can all do for each other regardless of gender.

  225. Nishita

    March 2, 2010 at 2:53 am

    The post is just like his look.. very classy and elegant!

  226. Closet full of hopes and dreams

    March 2, 2010 at 4:13 am

    So true! You are NOT your clothes! They can be an expression of who you are. But you have to BE it first. I love old leather gloves. When my grandmother died, my grandfather wanted the female grandchildren to have something of hers. There are four of us. I am the oldest one and I am the only none biological grandchild. Still he wanted me to lead the procedure, and we made the most curious discovery! I was the only one to share her glovesize. I now have three of her beautifully worn leather gloves and one pair of white crocheted summer gloves. Every time I wear them I can feel her spirit and remember the smell of her three-course meals, the crisp white of her table cloths, hear her voice and reminisce all the handwritten letters and cards she always sent. There's love in those gloves and memories of her style and grace!


    March 2, 2010 at 4:56 am

    You already had this post few weeks earlier…?!

  228. Nani

    March 2, 2010 at 4:59 am

    Mr. Barbera reminds of my grandfather, we lost him 18 years ago. He was always great in his 3piece suits and a scarf (not a tie). Or his colonialist suits, I don't know if you know it… Very 50's in Mozambique… And the manners, of course, a truly gentleman… God, I miss him…

  229. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 5:25 am

    I totally agree Рagain. But do I have a d̩ja vu or is this post kind of recycled? Nonetheless, as I said, I couldn't agree more.

  230. Giulia

    March 2, 2010 at 5:54 am

    I recently found a pair of gloves just like Mr. Barbera ones. They belonged to my grandfather who bought them at Brigatti in Milan possibly in the Sixties. Now I'm proud to wear them every nom and then

  231. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 5:57 am

    Mr. Sartorialist – am I losing my mind or is this an old post that you have repeated? I am not suggesting it wouldn't be worth repeating, just trying to assess whether I've gone mad.

  232. Ozwald Boateng

    March 2, 2010 at 6:23 am

    I have the utmost respect for this gentleman's sense of style and elegance.

  233. ioba

    March 2, 2010 at 8:52 am

    One of the most ever elegant people I've ever saw!

  234. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 9:14 am

    What a gorgeous man w/ elegant taste! Love to see his socks w/ those handsome shoes! Jack

  235. Teresa @ good-grace

    March 2, 2010 at 9:26 am

    aaahh… thanks for the clarification. I thought I was also having a weird moment of deja vu…

    It is one of my favorite posts, though – so I'm certainly not complaining. :)

  236. miss30andsomething

    March 2, 2010 at 10:59 am

    I was born in Italy and lived there for about 21 years.It's true the look can be great but if manners don't follow it's a waste!He reminds me about my highschool teachers: Mr Orlando in philosophy and Mr Antiga in maths, both very well dressed but just one "had the style", guess who?

  237. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 11:57 am

    "Advance Your Swagger" by Fonzworth Bentley is an excellent read for young men in learning to become "gentlemen". Style, grace, and etiquette are all topics discussed in this must read.

  238. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    i dont know if this is a book you're interested in its called 1001 rules for my unborn son

  239. Ted Farmer

    March 2, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    He appears to be very comfortable and elegant. That's the way good fashion should be…

  240. Jacob Frommer

    March 2, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    I do indeed know of a blog that gives over GREAT advice for aspiring young gentlemen! Its my blog!

    Please, come join the fray!

  241. eja_crepusculario

    March 2, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    This is a wonderful photo. His crisp and clear separation from the background, the shadows on his hat – the light glinting on his shoes. And what he chosen to show you of his character captured. Brava!

  242. Anonymous

    March 2, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Yes, the John Bridges books are excellent. I have several. They were first published by a local publisher here in Nashville (where Mr. Bridges also lives), then picked up by Brooks Bros. I don't know Mr. Bridges, but when I crossed paths with him at the theatre, he seemed to epitomize the manners and grace of which you speak, Sart, a jovial and kind man who also happens to have enviable glasses. And those are some great shots of Mr. Barbera, to boot…

    Nashville, TN


    March 2, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    "Gentlemen" is definitely the operative word – so few these days… Bravo Signore Barbera!

  244. Anonymous

    March 3, 2010 at 1:40 am

    I inherited that American Girl Manners Guide from my older sister and I referred to that all the time. It was awesome.


    March 3, 2010 at 4:40 am

    OK, no hard feelings…

  246. Anonymous

    March 3, 2010 at 5:50 am

    Oh so true! It's someones posture towards the other that sets the level of civilization, humanity, and style very definitely!
    Well although there are books that gives you a hint and protocols on social manners, I think, there are behaviors that don't come in books, they are based on personal sensibility, sense of respect, and balanced education! And of course a good notion of good taste, is always handy! cheers

  247. boB q

    March 3, 2010 at 6:13 am

    Perfect. But finding him extraordinaire seems curious to me. It's just standard in Italy. Mr. Sartorialist, you must be desperate living in your country…

  248. Anonymous

    March 3, 2010 at 6:22 am

    He is gorgeous. I'd love to lunch with him!

  249. Anonymous

    March 3, 2010 at 10:39 am

    I personally think that manners are not to be learned by books but by daily practice. One has or should grow up with manners, they cannot be learned like math or geography; I agree that they can to a certain point but manners reflect how we think about ourselves, the world, the people who surround us. It´s the same with clothing, if one grows up and notices on a daily bases that their parents select their dress carefully, that colors match, that different occaisons require a different dress and so on. I have to admit, that thats a very privileged view; what i wanted to say is that parents have the greatest influence on their children and they should use it wisely. Manners are the key to a good relationsship with the people who surround us! it´s about credibility!

  250. Anonymous

    March 3, 2010 at 10:39 am

    why is it posted again? not enough attention the first time?

  251. Misanthropic Pulp

    March 3, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    He looks amazing, love his style and I couldn't agree more with you, style starts with the personality…

  252. Jennine

    March 3, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    A beautiful man, beautifully turned out.

  253. Markmont

    March 3, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Can anyone I D the gloves he is wearing?

  254. RonE

    March 3, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Hi Scott,

    I have been a fan of your blog for a few years now and I appreciate your work. I love the book titled "How To Be A Gentleman: A Contemporary Guide To Common Courtesy" By John Bridges. It's an excellent, modern book about manners and etiquette that I believe every man should read. Hope this helps and thank you once again for your blog.



  255. lorax

    March 3, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    There needs to be a rebirth of the gentleman.

    The Dangerous Book for Boys might touch on manners when it's not being all Boy Scout-y. I know that the Dangerous Book for Girls has a lot about manners.

  256. Yeji

    March 4, 2010 at 1:34 am

    oh my god. this is the best. I can't wait to see my dad with this outfit.

  257. Anonymous

    March 4, 2010 at 11:44 am

    For the record, I was obsessed with the American Girls Manners book when I was a little girl! I always felt at ease and excited to be in "proper" situations because of it. It is an excellent tool for your girls, I think!


  258. Anonymous

    March 4, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    I do agree the best books on manners are the ones from Brook Brothers. You can also find one on "How to raise a lady" or a gentleman…and yes style sometimes is from the inside out.

  259. Anonymous

    March 14, 2010 at 4:48 am


    palma de mallorca-34

  260. src

    March 14, 2010 at 11:49 am

    Yes we women do take note. I could fall in love with this man :)

  261. Beauty Tips For Boys

    September 23, 2010 at 3:39 am

    Great to see more.

  262. Kam

    August 14, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    can anyone suggest where I can buy a pair of gloves that will eventually turn into such beautiful leather? What colour and specific type of leather type do you start with?
    I’ve been eyeing this pictures every winter. This time I want to be ready and get a pair before I get frost bite

  263. Roseanna

    November 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Too many compliments too little space, thkans!

  264. Vittoria

    October 10, 2013 at 8:44 am

    My granpa was a very famous tailor here in Lucca, Tuscany, and I have that sense of “tailor is better”. And looks great on men too!

  265. :LB Williams

    October 20, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    “one should be a work of art or wear a work of art”

    Oscar Wilde

    Mr. Barbera covers both fronts!!!!

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