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December 1, 2006 at 10:57 am
Stay away from surgery. Buy a pair of Acne Jeans instead.
December 1, 2006 at 11:14 am
Did you get 2 sizes down from your normal? It took about 2 months for mine to stretch out perfect. Now the new standards fit great. Keep wearing ‘em, and if you cant wear em right during the day, sleep in them!
December 1, 2006 at 11:15 am
Hmmm. Perhaps we could follow the same procedure that the French (and some Americans) use to enlarge goose and duck livers to create foi gras–the one that involves…No! Definitely not PC.
What about grafting accordion pleats into the calf material? (And why not affix some ball fringe while we’re at it?)
Or actual calf reduction, which, I hear can be an outpatient procedure?
December 1, 2006 at 11:27 am
Some photos would definitely help! The calves look fine to me in your original photo, but the typical answer would be to just wear them until they’re comfortable.
You could also take your problem to Supertalk.superfuture.com, resident denim experts of the internet.
If you do, make sure you message one of the mods (Minya) or the mod of the Superdenim board (tweedlesinpink).
December 1, 2006 at 11:30 am
hmmm, well. you could (1) grow your hair out (2) dye it jet black (3) get an asymetrical cut (4) buy a pair of books and a t-shirt with an ironic message on it to wear with your tight jeans and (5) move to Williamsburg.
ButchPleats! nice idea
I may have them surgically transformed into shorts
December 1, 2006 at 11:34 am
Well, there’s the old Levis favorite of putting them on when they’re wet (preferably in warm water) and then flexing your calf muscles (don’t put them all the way on if you don’t want to stretch the whole jean). But you have to do this every time you wash them.
Alternatively, take them to G&G on Grand and ask whether they can find any fabric in the seam to let out. Sometimes the seam can be ‘unrolled’.
Or stop working out (though you are absolutely forbidden to stop walking around taking pictures).
December 1, 2006 at 11:35 am
Nah, the gerbils will just poop in your jeans. You’ll have little black droppings falling out the legs of your pants: never a good look.
After you wash the jeans—and while they’re still wet—give the tight areas a good side-to-side yank or two. Not a seam-splitting yank; just a few firm pulls, moving down from knee to ankle, then let them air-dry. This will usually do the trick.
Still too tight? Seriously, just find something to place in the leg of the jeans to keep them stretched out while they dry: a dinner plate, bent wire hanger, whatever. Just make sure that whatever prop you use approximates the actual size and shape of your leg. You don’t want pointy calves. Or do you?…
December 1, 2006 at 11:40 am
Very funny! Investments sometimes take some time to mature.
Reminds me of a pair of beautiful suede ballet flats I invested in a few years ago.
Fit perfectly in the store. Back home, I couldn’t walk. (My sister will recall I couldn’t move one night after wearing them to dinner.) But I refused to give up. It took about three months and then, finally, blessedly, they fitted like a ballet slipper!! (And I still wear them.)
December 1, 2006 at 11:57 am
Scott, careful about having the pants surgically transformed into shorts! I had an uncle once…
December 1, 2006 at 12:05 pm
you should’ve got the new standards. they wouldn’t be as slim, but you would have much more comfort in the lower part of your legs.
December 1, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Keep wearing them. i promise it will get better. Wear them all the time and maybe even do some lunges right after you put them on. It worked with mine.. .and now they are like butter. … but it took a while for that to happen.
December 1, 2006 at 12:11 pm
dampen them with warm water, put them on and then flex your leg muscles ! that should stretch them out to fit your legs (but don’t zip or button the waist as it might stretch the waist too much). whatever you do though, don’t wash them !
December 1, 2006 at 12:21 pm
December 1, 2006 at 12:29 pm
hmm interesting…when I was a teenager APC jeans fit me perfectly, but now I have a few curves but am still the same size I can’t get any of them on unles I go up about four sizes. I decided they were cut for skinny legged Japanese girls. Maybe the boys ones are the same. I have no advice, just thought I’d share!
December 1, 2006 at 12:32 pm
i think men’s thighs should look thick and muscular. Why would you wanna have a look like that? Just get levi’s 501. JEANS are made from the lowest grade of cotton and charging $200.00 is a marketing gimmick, which most women fall to. Tough men wear LEVI’S 501.
December 1, 2006 at 12:35 pm
scandinavian jeans can save your life!
December 1, 2006 at 12:48 pm
Scottdon’t you mean jean-o-plasty?jeanie-o-plasty sounds like you want to look like barbara eden.
what size jeans do you wear?
December 1, 2006 at 12:58 pm
you might also start trolling styleforum.net for advice. They are a good resource when it comes to this stuff.
December 1, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Pants that are too tight in the calves are called leggings.
December 1, 2006 at 1:09 pm
ROTFL, positive_negative. I shoulda thought of that!
December 1, 2006 at 1:13 pm
you got the cures right? should have got the new standards. that’s the difference, cures much tighter in the calf.however apc raw denim stretches like crazy when wet. best bet is to wash them then while damp put your forearms inside and stretch them out as much as you can.dont get acne’s, that low rise stuff is for girls..
December 1, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Dude, bootcut jeans next time, eh?
December 1, 2006 at 1:31 pm
Bootcut are for girls and cowboys only.
December 1, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Asking for help with getting you out of your jeans is asking for trouble. It’s all I’m saying.
December 1, 2006 at 1:39 pm
a shoe horn but for pants
If they’re 100% denim, you probably won’t get too much more stretch out of them, even with the dampening and the lunges–take it from one who regularly used coat-hangers to zip up her painted-on jeans in the mid-80s.
What about installing little calf vents with zippers :^)
December 1, 2006 at 1:48 pm
These jeans actually do have quite a bit of give, I know that when I lie mine out flat now, they have gained a bit of shape, especially around the knees, so I am sure yours will do the same, have you worn them in a warm bath?
December 1, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Sart, the original post about the APC jeans and the comments about their care and feeding was the most hilarious, clueless and fashion victimy thing I have ever read. I’m surprised I didn’t see anything about gerbils the first time ;).
But even reading about them makes my legs hurt. Thank you everyone for making sure that I will never try on a pair of APC jeans.
December 1, 2006 at 2:00 pm
My mom had old pant stretcher frames from the ’50s.
figure out the measurements for your calf, find two vases the a 1/4″ size bigger, slip each to the pant legs and hang from a hanger while your pants are wet.
December 1, 2006 at 2:01 pm
APC jeans are totaly overrated.
March 29, 2013 at 6:44 pm
buy one, wear them every day for two weeks. they will feel like the most awesome pair of jeans ever. really, don’t be prejudiced. they’re amazing.
December 1, 2006 at 2:17 pm
i want to see a picture of you wearing them post-tailor.
positively the same dame
December 1, 2006 at 2:19 pm
well they are blue, which works well with your natural pale blue coloring. i would avoid going the gerbil route, however — it took richard gere forever to live down his gerbil nightmare and the late-nite talk show hosts were viscious. personally, i’d go with the sart-sized shoe horn idea, (although butch does seem to be your go-to guy for this — i wonder why that is) and be sure to get pictures.
December 1, 2006 at 2:24 pm
uuuggh, bootcut! worst advice ever! With APCs The new standards are the way to go. If you size down enough, they are still pretty slim, but don’t hug the calf. IMHO the new cures aren’t cut that well. if you want something skinnier than the new standard, upgrade to the Dior 19cm. A bit more pricey but you can’t go wrong with those. but like someone else said the wet stretch thing should work.
December 1, 2006 at 2:29 pm
denim will stretch.
wash them, then really pull on the calf areas while they’re still wet.
i’m 6’3″, and i used to have a problem with my jeans being too short. i now stretch them after i wash them, and it’s much better.
December 1, 2006 at 2:45 pm
My suggestion is: ask a friend (at least 1 size bigger than you) to wear your APCj for one week, possibly non-stop,after that there are two options : either you lose your friend or your APCj, it depends on what you value more. Under extreme conditions you might happen to lose both.
December 1, 2006 at 3:09 pm
i like the zipper ideaor velcro. just rip out the sides and do it.
December 1, 2006 at 3:14 pm
I want to see you pulling a pair of slim cheap mondays
December 1, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Dear Positively the S. D., re your post above, what ARE you implying?
Actually, you’re onto something: Scott and I long-ago bonded over pleating, which, personally, I see as a great human panacea.
For example, I believe pleating is the most practical deterrent to global warming, among other miseries….
(OK–sorry–I’ll get serious now. Promise!)
December 1, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Good weekend to everybody.
December 1, 2006 at 3:58 pm
In the picture they definately don’t look skinny … Skinny is when they are tight to the legs like leggings … these are not!
December 1, 2006 at 4:23 pm
For anon 3:56actually I meant that my APC jeans did not fit on my baby cows
for Anon 3:58
the jeans in the picture are not the ones I ended up buying – the ones i bought are like denim leggings
December 1, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Uh…paying that much for jeans that then take MONTHS to get to fit right sounds pretty silly to me.
December 1, 2006 at 4:30 pm
you are very attractive.
Anders from Sweden
December 1, 2006 at 4:34 pm
This tip is somewhat uncomfortable but it really works. As several others have pointed out they will stretch to fit in time. But to speed things up a little try this:Put your jeans on and the take half an hour bathing in the bathtub with yur jeans on. Then leave them on for drying on you. They will now take your shape perectly. You might want to crank the heat up a notch in your apartment before doing this. Good luck.
December 1, 2006 at 5:18 pm
butch–simply that you appear to be very much, you know, into, sart’s jeans and, believe me, i feel you. if he would only post a photo of himself in the tight-like-leggings-tight ones, i could definitely get into them too.
re pleats and global warming, sounds like you should be advising al gore on his choice of dockers, among other things.
December 1, 2006 at 5:22 pm
i was just at APC… in that exact changing room trying on the cape and thinking about you
December 1, 2006 at 5:59 pm
If they are too tight in the calves or thighs you can only return them for a larger size or a different cut. The waist is going to stretch out but the calves and thighs are not going to stretch a meaningful amount. Trust me.Get another pair.
December 1, 2006 at 6:25 pm
ahaha, I loved this entry :))
as for the technique, perhaps you can try pouring water on your jeans and then stretching them (the calf part) by drawing them on large 2-litre mineral water bottles. i once tried (quite desperately) doing it with gloves and it worked – only the bottles were considerably smaller ;)
December 1, 2006 at 6:39 pm
You can put them on slightly damp and squat for 5 minutes. You can and should fast for 3 to 5 days, you’ll lose up to 5 lbs. of water weight, your jeans will become loose. Ask any woman.
December 1, 2006 at 6:49 pm
Honestly, when you first posted about getting the Cures, I thought you bought the wrong model, judging by your pic. The New Standards would have better suited your body type as a slim jean. The Cures are great for someone who’s skin/bones with little muscle. oh well, live and learn!
December 1, 2006 at 7:02 pm
just donate or sell on ebay and start again….
December 1, 2006 at 7:20 pm
Pouring wine will help!
December 1, 2006 at 7:23 pm
OMG, if you could only hear yorselves!! (Okay, some of is it pretty funny, intentionally, but it’s all hilarious!) These silly jeans just don’t seem like they’re worth the (significant) effort of trying to make them fit.
Sounds like these jeans just don’t fit you. But if you spend the next three months obsessing over them every moment of your waking day (AND wearing them–wet–at night) then maybe they will.
You MUST have something better to do with your life (like taking photos for us, n’est pas?) Sometimes, the “in thing” doesn’t work for an individual, and you gotta move on to what works.
If the jeans don’t fit, you must acquit!
December 1, 2006 at 7:55 pm
Still one of your hottest self-portraits!
December 1, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Never has so many helped a single man get into his jeans…
Sart, Have you thought about getting the “rescue” jeans? They aren’t “the latest” but skinny jeans are overrated and will be over by the time you get them to fit right anyway. The rescue isn’t a bootcut but more of a stright leg. Might be the look you are looking for. Like pwnzj00 said, I got them 2 sizes down and they fit perfectly. You strike me as a “style over fashion” kinda guy. Go with works for you, not “the latest” everything…
This is not only the best blog on the web but the posts are some of the most witty you will find anywhere.
December 1, 2006 at 8:14 pm
Gerbils living in your pants getting big and fat….
Scott Schuman, this is by far your wackiest post!!
December 1, 2006 at 8:32 pm
My wife swears she has had denim-stretching success by wadding up gym-socks and stuffing them into the target areas while wearing. Even if it doesn’t work you stay dry and don’t anger the PETA folks with the gerbil thing…
I got the APC new standards a few weeks ago and they are standing in the corner on their own, mocking me…
December 1, 2006 at 8:42 pm
A buddy of mine put on his new APC jeans and went to the beach(Two Mile Hollow-East Hampton,if anyone cares)at dawn,ran into the ocean and then rolled around in the sand,then rubbed the sand into the jeans to break them in. He swears by the method.I think this method may only work at this particular gay beach.
December 1, 2006 at 10:01 pm
I say you should just embrace the circumfrence. That cut is just far enough away from both poles in the denim spectrum: East Village spandex and regular full cut jeans. They truly are my favorite jeans!
December 1, 2006 at 11:10 pm
Gerbils, that’s hilarious. great entry :)
December 1, 2006 at 11:27 pm
looking for advice- I have one pair of APC that I washed and then had them hemmed. Turned out great. but now I am afraid if I wash them again the length will shrink too short. Will raw demin shrink everytime I wash them? Even in cold water? Have another pair that I never washed and only dry clean but want to have my options open. Thanks to anyone who answers!
December 1, 2006 at 11:33 pm
I have been waiting for you to post a follow up! I bought the exact same same pair you did about a week before you posted the first time and found all the feedback really useful. I agree that the calves a slow to stretch out but if you want them to stretch you need you wear the jeans during an activity in which you flex your calves like bike-riding or football/baseball/basketball. Just walking around in them won’t do it. I have been really hard on mine, wearing them far more often than I would normally wear a single pair of pants, and the fading and fit are getting really good. Also, as per the advice given by contributors to your last post about APC jeans, I have not washed them. Just Febreeze anti-bacterial and Givenchy Pi cologne. Good luck! I love mine.
December 2, 2006 at 1:21 am
Low-rise… bootcut…? When did we become teen-aged popstars?
I have a pair of jeans that fits my calves tightly. My calves are smaller than any of my friends’ calves too, so they would certainly have a worse problem than I have.
wartime_consiglieri’s idea sounds interesting. I’ll try that one. Sart, let us know when something works!
December 2, 2006 at 2:50 am
live your sense of humor!
December 2, 2006 at 3:41 am
i have 4 pair of apc jeans….. get a pair of new standards, or my favorite, the Rescue fit (a bit bigger…. think 501′s). i think the skinny pant thing has gone on a bit too long.
December 2, 2006 at 5:01 am
insert a rope through the leg of the jeans. tie the ends of the rope to the window sill or something. just to make sure it’s stable. insert a dumbell into the calf of the jeans. you can rotate the jeans around so the stretching doesn’t just happen at one specific area of the leg. then you repeat with the other leg. the weight of the dumbell + gravity will stretch the jean.
December 2, 2006 at 5:39 am
this post, and the responses, are freakin’ hilarious. i especially like positive_negative’s suggestion. but if you don’t do that, or the gerbil thing, which could be fun, then… why not just start over. with jeans that fit. i don’t see how any piece of clothing could be worth such trial and tribulation.
December 2, 2006 at 6:49 am
i think if you went with cures, then you should chalk it up to experience and let them go. even if they do eventually stretch to something resembling comfort, eventually they’ll need to be washed and then you’ll have start the process all over again. I wouldn’t suggest new standards either, in your picture they have a very exaggerated look, I think because of the size of your shoulders. don’t feel bad, i had to give up on my APC’s too; they either work or they don’t. Julian Red Calis are an option you might want to consider.
December 2, 2006 at 9:31 am
Letting a slightly larger friend wear them for a while usually works fine for me. The ocean cleaning thing mentioned among the comments is something that is actually suggested on the tag on APC:s. A bit over-ambitious, one might think…
December 2, 2006 at 10:04 am
I’m sure I’m not the only one very curious how the black label suit turned out as well — post a picture post tailoring!
December 2, 2006 at 10:18 am
I’m sorry, aren’t jeans supposed to be the garment we can throw on and feel good about without thinking about it too much?? I’ll go to a certain amount of trouble to fit into a Dior dress or some fabulous YSL shoes, but jeans??? That’s just taking things too far. Buy a pair of Levis and forget about it!
December 2, 2006 at 10:44 am
to Anon 9:31 amI would let a slightly larger/taller friend wear them but I would be afraid of people thinking Thom Browne was doing a new line of jeans
December 2, 2006 at 11:07 am
This whole slim jeans phenomenon has always had me scrathing my head a bit. I am 100% behind the idea of closes fitting well especially jeans. But I walk around the city daily with a shit-eatin’ grin when I see guys with these denim stretch pants on… wrapped tight around their legs and falling off their asses. And then there’s the way that their walking is affected… hilarious. I really see the whole too slim thing as the equilavent to the over-sized pants that hang off the butts and bunch around the limited edition sneakers of “urban” kids.
Also, why don’t we wear other articles as slim? So slim that we have too wear it in for a month and buy it 2 sizes to small? Where’s my skinny sweater? I’ve never had to sleep in a button down to size it!
I’m just sayin”… maybe you ‘re not a skinny fit kinda guy(which is ok). I’ve ever met you, but you don’t strike me as one. I’d suggest ditching the skinny and just get some jeans that fit… that you can move in. I stand behind Acne Jeans. Much more $$$ than APC… but an all around better fit and feel.
December 2, 2006 at 2:30 pm
I have never owned a pair so I have no advice to offer. :(
I do agree that too-tight clothes are very uncomfortable and distracting.
December 3, 2006 at 4:25 am
So, you’ve bought tapered jeans. Some of the suggestions here will stretch the denim slightly, but this won’t change the fact that your jeans are cut to have a taper. You can consider it a lost cause and throw/donate them or you can keep them. If you are looking for another pair of APC’s you should probably look at the New Standard which is a tighter fit (but looser than the New Cures) with a small taper or the Rescue, which is more or less a New Standard with a straight leg.
If, on the other hand, you are looking for another pair of selvedge jeans that are not APC you might want to stop by BiG (http://blueingreensoho.com/).
December 3, 2006 at 11:31 am
At risk of being terribly 2005, I still swear by my Earls, they’re a good fit, comfortable and hard wearing, as well as looking stylish, and being pretty well priced.
December 3, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Put an Olsen twin down each pant leg. If that doesn’t stretch them out sufficiently put both twins down each leg on alternate days.
December 3, 2006 at 4:08 pm
All I can say is that men with great legs should wear tight jeans so that the rest of the world have something nice to look at, and you happen to own a pair of fabulous legs.
December 3, 2006 at 6:19 pm
For Sart. from anon 3:56: Mooooooo
December 3, 2006 at 11:51 pm
What is a must have pair of jeans for a woman in her late twenties?
December 4, 2006 at 12:31 am
You could perhaps push an Olsen twin down one leg and Nicole Ritchie down the other. That should stretch them out a wee bit.
December 4, 2006 at 8:31 am
For Anon 1:02If I have an Olsen twin down each pant leg it is still undetermined if I will be wearing them for this procedure
December 4, 2006 at 9:32 am
Post a pic of your calves in those jeans.I bet it´s not that bad, and you can learn to love the feel of somehow tighter calves.It happened to my husband some years ago when lower waists became the standart. He just kept pulling his jeans up until he just learnt to live with lower waists that look a lot better.
December 5, 2006 at 12:26 am
If you amputate both legs at the knee, you could create a series of screw-on calves that would give you a custom calf for each of your favorite pair of jeans…
December 5, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Guinea pigs might work better.
I might have to try that on boots.
December 5, 2006 at 5:40 pm
I find this to be way too much work. Why not get your size or at max one size smaller if you think the jeans will stretch, but 2 sizes smaller is an exageration in my opinion.
December 9, 2006 at 6:43 pm
those freaking olsen twins have all the fun.
December 12, 2006 at 5:39 pm
The original standards were my signature jean (in that I wore them every day). And if my calves can get in them I know you Sart and you can get into them. They will stretch and they are the best designer jean for men–otherwise go for 501s. Back in the seventies my sisters used to wear jeans to the beach get wet in them and leave them on for while….
February 21, 2007 at 9:06 am
I just got some New Standards in a 33 i normally take a 34, i tried on the 32 but could’nt do them up. Will these shrink back to the original tag size when i decide to wash. thanks
November 12, 2008 at 1:07 am
Couldnt stop laughing when i read through all those comments! Guess u already fixed those problems by now!amazing shot btw :-P
April 6, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Scott, how are the apc's coming along?
June 1, 2010 at 7:44 pm
That's my favorite brand of jeans